On another note, Sarah over at Falen Formulates Fiction and her cohorts Emily White and Vic Caswell came up with the hilarious Teenage Heartthrob Bloghop where you describe seven of your teen crushes, however inappropriate. Most of mine fit into this category! And I'm not doing TV stars because our TV was broken for five years until my brother kicked it and it started working again. It's real people, folks. Names withheld to protect the guilty.
1. My dreamy
English teacher who looked like Faulkner. He had sly green eyes, shiny
black hair like Adam Lambert and big lips like Billy Idol. He taught The Moviegoer and other modernist tomes,
and I attended a writers’ group in his living room, where I wrote sappy poetry.
He broke off his marriage to have an affair with the gym teacher.
My English Teacher had Adam L's HAIR |
William Faulkner |
2. The dorky sales guy at the pharmacy up the street, 10 years my senior, but who asked me out on a date anyway. When he came to the door my mother let him have it! “Do you know how old my daughter is?” she bellowed. He shrugged and surely rued the day he ever spoke to me. “She’s twelve!” she answered and closed the door in his face. Good Mama bear.
3. The preacher’s playboy son, who was
totally remote and sardonic. I’d see him talking with one of my English teachers and sigh longingly. His sister used to pick me up in her dad’s Rolls Royce (What's a minister doing with a RR?!) and we’d go eat French Fries at
the neighborhood dive. When she found out I had a crush on her brother, she was
furious. Hey, it wasn’t as if I had any control over my feelings.
4. A fellow art major who painted a Vermeer-esque portrait of me. This intense and soulful guy pursued me. Then when I came running, he fled for his life! I took it personally at first, but it turned out he was gay. Not only did he paint, he crafted silver jewelry, and did gossamer drawings of street people. We ruled the art room, and we’re still friendly after all of these years. He's the chair of the furniture design department, get it?
5 & 6. My best friend’s two older brothers (so
this counts as two). From kindergarten on, I hung out 24/7 at their
house. One of the brothers kept owls in his closet, lizards in his
basement and a goat in the back yard. The other was a great dancer, and collector of R&B. He had an entire room floor to ceiling of vinyl. I had crushes on both guys when I was a teen. Later, I realized it was
all confused with the feeling that they were really like beloved brothers.
7. The pretty-boy neurotic with wispy blond
hair and black trooper boots. I met him through a friend. He was model
thin, and wore long, fey scarves and aviator shades. He had a b*tchin’ sports
car, and drove like a demon on Red Bull. I kept
begging him to slow down whenever he drove. Sure enough, he showed up at my
school one day, wigged out of his mind. He had driven so fast that he’d wrapped
his car around a highway guardrail. I took him to my house and made him hot chocolate, but that
was the end of us.
Here are the other Heartthrob Bloghop entries: Sarah Ahiers, Vic Caswell, Emily White, Kimberlee Turley, Tasha Seegmiller, The Only Dude Here, Julie Dorris, Kristin Creative, The Writer's Republic, Hannah Kincade, The Book Addict, JC Martin, Fighter Writer, Vive le Nerd, Bouquet of Books, Teebore @ Gentlemen of Leisure, Cassie Mae, Writing with Hope, Empty White Pages, Ninja Captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh, Theresa Paolo, Limey YA Lit Girl
What was your most
inappropriate teen crush?
Before you answer that (and I would love to hear your answer), here are my next two tour stops:
I guest posted on plots and chapter hooks over at Seeing Creative on Monday, March 5th. Hopefully, I demystified these two very important aspects of crafting the novel. Click here to hop over for a quick read.
I LOVE IT!!!
ReplyDeleteand i would have TOTALLY swooned over your english teacher and the big brother with all the pets! aw man! what a great take on the fest- although that one dude when you were 12- CREEPY!!!!
Well, if he looked and wrote like Faulkner, there's no argument.
ReplyDeleteI think I missed the part about 7 crushes, but my choice took up a lot of my formative years.
The handsome, narcissistic, bi-polar writer in my class who grew up to be a handsome, narcissistic bi-polar writer. The English teacher with black hair and green eyes that everyone had a crush on, and John Lennon.
ReplyDeleteTotally cool that your English teacher had hair like Adam Lambert!!!
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at number 2! That is great, kinda creepy, but great. I actually dated my best friends brother, he was my first love. Now I laugh because he's like a brother and that's weird. I loved how you did real life crushes-nice twist :)
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, Kanta, John Lennon, the smart Beatle. yeah, jackie,, I think my English teacher was a frustrated actor, really. If he'd been in films, he would've had soooo many groupies!
ReplyDeleteLOL. I don't know if I had any inappropriate crushes. I'm kind of jealous.
ReplyDeleteGreat tid bits! I can totally picture the guys, sort of James Dean rebel/artist types :) And who wouldn't notice hair like Adam Lambert's? Swoon worthy for sure :)
ReplyDeleteOh man, this was AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteAnd i also had crushes on my friends's older brothers. They were just always so cool!
Sounds like an awesome English teacher!
ReplyDeleteI would love to meet your English teacher!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd love to meet him again too. Except he's departed this earthly plane.
ReplyDeleteWow, you sure knew some interesting people. I had a crush on a guy in school. He wasn't the flirty type. But I talked to him every day at lunch. He would give me his hoodie on colder days. Everyone told me he liked me but I was in a not so good relationship and didn't know how to get out of it. SO he left. Later he worked at the same store as me but after I quit I haven't ever talked to him again :( Sad really he was an awesome friend.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, number 2!! I literally gasped. That is just awful! Good mama bear indeed.
ReplyDeleteI just love how you describe each of your crushes. Even though there's not pictures for all of them, they feel so easy to visualize.
ReplyDelete(And good for you for not being so superficial! Mine are all just cute celebrities.)
Ha! If I had used real people, it would have been even more embarrassing. I had a huge crush on one of the French teachers in my school. He was so inappropriate now that I look back on it. He was such an amazing dresser and had a drool-worthy French accent. He would tell us that we could tell what color underwear he was wearing by the color of his socks and he NEVER WORE SOCKS.
ReplyDeleteOh, Adrianne, that one wins the prize for GROSS!!!!! And funny as h*ll.
ReplyDeleteWow, Adam + Billy. Nice. I love the list. True to teenage girlhood.
ReplyDeleteTwelve!!!! Wow, what were you thinking??? :)
ReplyDeleteSo many boys so little time. :) Wasn't being a teenager great sometimes? I loved this older boy Mike who was a grade ahead of me in junior high, Roger Taylor from Duran Duran and the cast of the movie The Outsiders. oh and I had it bad for the carney kid who ran the Tilt-A Whirl each summer.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, Melissa, a carny barker kid? Now I don't feel quite as inappropriate in my choices. hehehe.
ReplyDeleteThey all sound dreamy! And don't worry - I think everyone who has friends with hot brothers falls a little bit in love...
ReplyDeleteNice change from reading about all the celebrity crushes!
ReplyDeleteMy biggest teen heartthrob in real life was a substitute teacher, who was really a freshly-graduated senior doing work experience for a few months before going to university--so that makes it less inappropriate, doesn't it? ;)
Thing is, we kept in touch through the years, and have even met up and gone on (rather innocent) dates. By the time I found out the feeling was mutual though, I was sadly already in a committed relationship. Ah well...
Catherine, this is great! Boy, you had some fantastic crushes! I think my most inappropriate crush came when I was fifteen. He was the neighborhood badass. He was not only a bad boy, but he was achingly beautiful. We sneaked around all summer my freshman year, and stole moments away from the rest of the group, and nobody ever knew. He was older by a year, I think. Gosh, it was a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteIt lasted until his older sister (an even bigger badass) caught us. She threatened to beat me up if I did anything wrong, so he and I decided it was best just to "hang out" like we used to. Yeah, she was that bad!
I dated bad boys until my band nerd, whom I ended up marrying. :)
Recalling that forbidden fun was a hoot!
Candy, what dangerous adventure-a threat from his sister to beat you up! BTW, I'm so glad to "hear" your voice and know that your surgery is done!
ReplyDeleteYes, to those hunky brothers. I remember all the excuses I made to visit my best friend just so I could "see" that big brother of hers. Loved your post and especially your Mama Bear story!
ReplyDeletejustin beiber :) cant help it - he's cool
ReplyDeleteTHose were hilarious! Thanks for sharing them. And good for your mama bear. lol. what a low-life.
ReplyDeleteLet's see, inappropriate crushes? Hmmm.... that's a tough one. Probably those who were already dating someone else lol.