How I Found the Write Path blogfest, letters to a younger writer self

If you could write a confidential letter to your younger writer-self, helping ease the way forward or providing some important insights, what would you say? PK Hrezo and Carrie Butler have come up with a great idea: have authors write letters like these, create a How I Found the Write Path blogfest, and also an ebook anthology to help aspiring writers. Awesome, eh? Here's my letter to my nineteen-year-old self:

Dear scared younger author self,

I know you’re eager to write but terrified of spending so much time alone in a room creating stories. You think it might even drive you over the edge. I know

Me at 19

you feel you have much to offer but are shaky because you have no road map to go by, and no mentors yet. You’re brimming with stories, yet unsure of whether to keep doing your drawing and painting, which you were always praised for, or try this writing thing, which no one expected at all.

Let me be your mentor, after the fact. Others will talk with expertise about their amazing business plans, their early credentials. What I can do is clue you in on two extremely helpful things I learned: to trust in my gut instinct and to build community. People aren’t meant to do it alone. Not even writers. Yes, we sit alone in our writing studios and tap out our tales. True, unless you write for TV you don’t write by committee.

Find and build community. There are a myriad of helpful communities to tap into. First of all, I have my writer’s group, a trusted group of fellow authors who workshop each other’s manuscripts. This group provides a sense of joy, camaraderie, confidence and direction—and savvy revise notes! I also belong to a writer’s space. There, I hear others tapping away on their keyboards, which spurs me on. I can take breaks from work and chat in the café area. Participation in member readings is another perk of being in this community.

Then, there’s my team of publishers. I’m a hybrid author. This means big and small publishers have published me, and I’ve indie published. The traditional team consists of an editor, publicist, and agent. The indie team is not that different, except that I get to hire the experts I want—to custom create my team. So, find your perfect publishing community and don’t settle for less. 

Then, there’s the book blogging community. You need these good folks to review your books, and to spread word. Giving back is essential. I frequently promote authors on my blog. I’ve even partnered with like-minded authors in a group blog. We cross-promote and discuss issues, successes and trade questions. Alone, but never really alone after all!

So, decide what you need in community. Then find and build it, and make sure to give back to it. Take your time to find the right ones. This brings me to the second important lesson I’ve learned. 

Follow your gut instincts! I was too shaky when I started, to live by this adage. I put certain writers, editors and agents on pedestals. I had people I barely even knew, much less trusted, reading and critiquing my manuscripts. I did too many changes, according to this or that random comment, without asking myself what I thought. What I truly felt deep down. Ultimately, a writer must listen to his or her gut. Without this prescient instinct as a rudder you can easily drift off your path.

Case in point: the first time I followed my gut on a serious professional level was when a big publishing firm (Random House) offered me a chance to revise one of my early novels on spec. I was still months away from graduating an MFA creative writing program, thus I was hugely flattered and excited by the possibility of being offered a contract. At a meeting with the senior editor and VIP of the company, no less, they ran down items they wanted me to do in a revision. But then they started to disagree with each other, and even to argue over how I should end my novel! (Refugees)

My studio table with my Chinese
good luck dragon, my grandma's
glass shoe, a glass cardinal
and a vintage beer stein
(Baubles help me think!)

Needless to say, I was frozen in fear, and barely managed to scratch out notes. I shook their hands, and ran out. Not only did I disagree with one of them, I vehemently disagreed with both of them on how to end my novel. I consternated, and meditated on it for days. And then, something clicked inside. I knew I had to go with my gut instinct, and keep the ending I wanted, while making other tweaks that I did agree with. I sent the manuscript back, literally quaking. 

When I got a call two weeks later that they were offering me a contract, I felt deeply relieved . . . and vindicated! That was the beginning of always making sure I followed my gut. 

So, good luck, be brave and celebrate being alone in your studio. Your characters will keep you company, plus all of the wonderful people in your writing community and mentors that you’ll find on your way. You have your sixth sense to guide you.
(Carrie and PK, I say yes to inclusion in the anthology :) )

Here's the link to read other writers' posts. But before you hop away, how would you answer this?
What one piece of advice would you have loved to give your younger writer self?

Create your Own Writing Retreat

Western Catskills Writing Gang

I've been to excellent writing retreats and conferences. There's Squaw Valley on the north shore of Lake Tahoe, there are multiple ones along coastal California and Southhampton conference out on Long Island. There's a popular one put on by the Highlights Foundation in PA during the summer. Basically, writing communities pop up in places where swimming or nature walks abound.

Some of my favorite ones are homegrown. For years I've attended a retreat on Cape Cod with good friends. Coffee on the morning porch, then a bit of exercise, then writing on the same wraparound porch--all afternoon until words swim in one's head and pages unfold on laptop screens. Then it's a bracing swim in the ocean, and a dinner of tacos or chicken burgers, followed by evening readings.
I couldn't get to the Cape retreat this year because I was invited to teach creative writing in Greece. Boo hoo, right? I wasn't complaining, except, when I came home and settled in, it felt as if something big was missing.

My awesome Summer Seminars in Greece writing students
strike a Zen-ish pose

And then came the July from h**l, where the gas to the entire building was shut off because there was a leak and people called Con Ed instead of the super. I had minor surgery (Went well and I'm great, thanks) and I was unable to shower. We also had a huge thunderstorm and the drains clogged and flooded, and... you get the picture. During all of this I developed writers' block, which I've never, ever had. And I kept wondering, was it from all of the calamity?

Cape Cod Writers' Coffee

No. Not really. My real problem was that I missed that infusion of writerly energy that comes from good friends sitting on a porch together and writing all afternoon and spurring each other on. I missed the war stories over coffee, and the shared tales of triumph too.

So, I decided to create my own writers' retreat after the fact; at my place in the Catskills, with some very good writer buddies. It was perfect weather--pre-September fall at 65 degrees, sun in a teal sky. We sat outside in the tall yard grass and wrote all afternoon. At night, we cooked together, and then read the Tarot for each other. We also played a fun dictionary game, and another where you sing songs that use certain words. Writers' games.

There was talk of angsty obstacles overcome, of strengths and fears. All of the stuff that binds people together and helps us face whatever, whenever. I'm unstuck, I'm writing again, and the best thing? We've already reserved a three-day weekend for a winter version of the retreat. Writing by a crackling fire with hot chocolate in hand. And breaks for snowy playtime. Yup.

Mr & Mrs Snow with their
two snow boys

Community.
Is everything.
How do you replenish your writing spirit?